Know Yourself First
“The more you know yourself, the more you will understand others, and the more you will attract others to you.” JR
Oh, we know the simple rule that we all grew up with in describing the Nature of Women; we think of “sugar and spice and everything nice.”
However, as any woman will tell you, “Life is not a platter of baked goods” rather it is a hot grill of steaming difficulties and challenges.
Very few women get to the realization in life and admit that they have to learn how to know themselves better. This is a very important thing to do and I recognize this is not a very common practice.
The sooner you accomplish this task, the better results you will have in life. You will have more wisdom. More control of your relationships and feelings.
The more you know yourself, the more you sharpen your abilities to overcome difficult times, navigate the turbulent river of life with more assertiveness and focus.
Knowing yourself is the first step towards achieving your goals and happiness.
How to Know What You Want
One day a girlfriend invited me to go shopping with her. I really had no time for girlfriends, but I accepted.
No problem. First, she wanted to buy a tie for a male friend. We went to ten different stores, looked at more than 100 ties, and ended up not buying any!
Later that day she was hungry, so we went to a restaurant to have dinner. When she got the menu, she just couldn’t make up her mind what to order.
I gave her some suggestions and finally she decided on one entrée; when it was served, she was not happy with her decision and only ate half.
In addition to that, she made sure the waiter knew she wasn’t happy.
How do you think I felt after that experience with her that day?
Exhausted! Needless to say, I never went out with her again! End of story.
Are you losing friends and relationships because you just can’t make up your mind? If we don’t know in advance all these little details about yourself, your likes and dislikes, when the moment comes you are going to feel lost; you are going to irritate your loved ones and friends, and this will affect you adversely. Don’t let it happen to you.
Now, let’s see the opposite example:
Imagine going out with your significant other. You go to a restaurant. When you see the menu, your eyes will rove exactly to what you want and you’ll order in seconds.
The food might not be what you expected, but you eat it with no complaints. You eat it all and display complete satisfaction.
Will he be impressed with your "decision making process?" Yes!
Will he be pleased you didn’t nag and embarrassed him at the dinner table? Yes! Will he be inclined to ask you out again? Yes!
Or, let’s say you are shopping with your husband. Instead of making him wait for hours in the store or in the car (because you don’t know what you want), you complete your shopping in seconds, getting exactly what you need.
If you can’t find what you want, you just remind him you care about his time and maybe go on another occasion by yourself. Will your husband appreciate your gesture of concern and praise you? Yes! Will he trust in you for future events? Yes! Will he be aware that you care about his time? Yes.
I know these are little things and everyday chores; but if you don’t act correctly and wisely in small things, soon they will become big things and life becomes unbearable for both of you.
It is my goal in this chapter to help you get to know yourself better in every possible way. Know your taste in food likes and dislikes with your clothes, what type of friends you want to be with, what you are looking for in a relationship, etc. so when the moment comes, you are an expert in your likes and dislikes. You will act with confidence and self-assurance.
All your senses will be ready to assist almost in a perfect way. People will trust in you and rely on you, because you are assertive and secure in yourself.
You know who you are, what you want, and best of all, know where you are going. This is one of the greatest assets you can possess.
The more you know yourself, the more you will understand others, and the more you will attract others to you.
4 Steps to Start the Process
Remember that you can make changes anytime in your life. If you are a teenager, a mature person or a woman in her fifties or sixties…it doesn’t matter; you can start this process. It’s never too late to perfect yourself and regain control of your life.
To do this, you are going to have a personal conversation with yourself. Please find a tranquil place. Take a pen and paper and start writing.
First: You are going to write about yourself. Start questioning everything about yourself. What type of person you would like to become? What things you like to be surrounded by. Write about your feelings-likes and dislikes. The more questions you ask yourself, the more you will get to know yourself better. Answer them with all honesty so you can have the correct picture of who you are and what you would like to become.
Second: Go to another page and write about your clothes. Your likes and dislikes. Make a list of everything you like and a list of everything you don’t like. Clothes are a big part of who you are. Make sure how you present yourself to others. Do you want to be conservative, rowdy, modern, exotic? Decide what you want.
Third: Make a list of what kind of friends you would like to have. Make another list of people you should not be hanging around. It will be good to be friends with achievers. Choose people with a positive attitude. Remember that friends will influence you for the good or for the bad. Choose well.
Your friends will also reflect on your personality. Here we have some examples of questions you should ask yourself:
- Do I understand why I am here on this earth?
- Am I willing to make changes?
- Do I have an open mind?
- What do I need to do to be happier?
- What type of person would I like to become?
- What do I really want in life?
- Do I want to study…?
- Do I want to get married?
- What is my favorite food?
- What type of relationships do I want?
- How many children do I want?
- What are my main likes and dislikes?
- How am I going to react if…?
- What religion do I want and why?
- How much am I willing to give to a man, a friend, and why?
- What do I want to do to contribute to society?
Fourth: Make a list of the kind of person you would like to spend the rest of your life with. Make it long and very clear to you.
Make sure that at the end of the page you understand and have a complete idea or conclusion of what you like, what you want and, most importantly, what is good for you.
Remember, the goal here is to find the right partner (or to keep the one you already have) to build your home, your future and your family.
As an example, I am going to give you a list I got ( I asked close to fifty young and old women) of the type of man women want and the relationship they would like to have, so every time you meet a possible prospect, you will compare him with the list.
If he qualifies for most of the questions, then you know it is a safe way to go and you can continue feeding the relationship.
If you can’t match him with any of your answers, you know he has to go. No matter if he looks like and acts like an angel with you at that moment, you know he is not good for you.
(It is not going to work out. Don't fool yourself!)
Then, you can make a decision “early on” (based on the knowledge of your answers on your list) to break it up before it is too late and your heart is emotionally involved.
You can buy the e-book and continue here.
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